Lost Of Trust

I confronted him about his gift to XY. Initially, he kept denying, and said that someone is trying to create trouble between the 2 of us. Then he changed his story to me intruding his privacy...Sigh...

I had an uneasy feeling out of a sudden and said that I want to see his hp. His reject reaction was so big that got me even suspicious. While he wasn't looking, I went through his hp and found out that he had given a gift to XY....I didn't confront him of his doing immediately, but waited a few days later (which is today) and said that I know he keep things from me, and that one of the things was his Christmas Gift to XY. I wasn't angry or even feeling anything negatively. In fact, I only made a statement of it. He got very worked up and asked me who told me such ridicious news. I told him it was someone else, and it didn't matter who told me. I only want to know whether it was true. He denied it very fiercely and turned away. Then he said, "since you are not happy, then leave." I was livid and hurt. I left.

In the afternoon, I messaged back saying that I wasn't in the wrong, while he said that someone was trying to stir things up between the 2 of us, claiming very firmly that "no", he did not give XY any gift, and insisted that it was my informant who told me he did.

I asked him again, "did you give present or not. That's the whole point. Just a YES or NO ans". He rebutted by suddenly turning the story and said that I knew the answer since I looked at his message, and that the whole issue to him is not whether he gave or not...(sigh...didn't he just gave himself away?)

Sigh....I'm very sadden by his way of twisting his way, trying to get out of the situation. When he finally admitted that he did gave the present, he rebutted I caught him offguard, hence the denial. I feel like laughing at his face *shake head*.

When I told him that I knew of this through his sms, he tried to shift the whole scenerio into an integrity-intruding-privacy-trust issue which makes things worse.

The gist of this whole thing? He lied and he hurt me.

Why do you have to do this? Shouldn't you have admitted it in the first place when I kept asking you, hoping you will tell me the truth. But you kept denying. Why? Why do you have to lie? Didn't you know the repercussion of lying? I already have trouble giving you my full trust. Why do you still lie? I thought I can believe you, believe that whatever you said to me before are all true. Why do you have to change my view on you now?

Because you said that I will get very angry and upset if I found out. Then why in the first place do you want to give her? Even if you want to give her, do you think I will stop you if you just tell me the reason you do that is because last year she gave you one, this year you decide to give her one back? (Frankly, this excuse is the lamest excuse that was ever given to me. Please...I'm not that ignorant). Why in the first place do you want to rock this boat?

You made me cry, and made my heart ached. It's been so long since I've felt this way. And I felt this way because I've given you my love and you want to risk it all by pulling such acts. You've hurt me, hurt my heart badly. I really want to cry out loud but somehow the tears just can't come out. Trust is a very very important thing to me. It's the basic foundation to a relationship. But you rocked it in a moment of folly and now I have trouble believing you.

I don't know what to do with us now.