Decision Making

I'm in doubt. Am I making the right decision? The moments that I've feared most is looming nearer each day and I'm really scared that decisions made will be regretted.

I was asked upteempth times if this is what I want now and for my future. My answers always seemed to be in doubt even though I tried to find reasons to answer them. It's funny that I know the reason why I'm behaving like that but somehow it seemed that beneath all the reasoning and explanation, I'm keeping myself in denial.

It was something I wished for and it came true. It was something that I had prayed hard for during the last 3 years that this would happened to me and it came into light. But the gains of the wish made me still felt down and despondant. I'm happy and somewhat contented when the company is around. But the absence of it or if things happened that upset the equlibrum always makes me feel that the path taken is wrong and I should take another route that may lead to a better light.

I'm feeling such ways for the longest time ever and perhaps more apparent when I want the decision to be made soon before I changed my mind should the environment changes me. I'm trying to keep myself in check and to prevent such thoughts from becoming even more apparent. However, it seemed that my efforts weren't working well and perhaps might have even escalated the truth out.

I hope it's the time of the month that made me feel this way and not something else.